I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize