Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
