break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
