so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
