So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
