I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
