in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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