You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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