To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
