Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
