I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
