I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
