new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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