I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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