Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
