Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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