i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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