I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
