im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
