you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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