Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
