If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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