He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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