I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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