Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
