Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Randomize
