how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
