We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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