Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
