GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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