I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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