it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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