What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
