I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
