He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
