He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
