you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
