Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
