What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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