we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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