Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize