have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
