last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
