Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
