paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
