I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
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He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
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Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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