I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
