"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
