Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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