How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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