if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
