the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
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She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
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my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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