I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Are we still banned from the library?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
