I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
