you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
