Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
