whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
