i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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