Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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