Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
