After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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