The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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