I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
