Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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