I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
