Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
are you so shy because you have an std?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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